Do you think this kid will become a sociopath someday? Philippines

Seriously?

No, he won't even be any amount.

Beacuse if I were his father -

I would have him dead in a heartbeat.

Sir Abs, thanks for the input. But unfortunately, his father doesn't look that way. I saw his father some time when he brought Juan to school. He looks war freak to me but I don't know how he disciplines his son.

I just wish Juan will be guided in the right way and grow mature of his actions.

When I was younger, during my primary days, I remember dealing with classmates who I can liken to ‘Juan’. Basically, these were kids back then like to bully other kids specially those whom they think are inferior and passive to them.  Intimidation and trouble is their game.

Luckily these guys were guided and are now responsible fathers...

Moreover, I also have a nephew; think he’s 5 or 6 years old now and based on what you aforementioned, I think I can liken my nephew to ‘Juan’ as well.

My cousin (the father of this kid) was often called by my nephew’s school due to the trouble that the later is always up to.  

There were incidents where my nephew for no apparent reason will hit other kids. Another complain I recall was an occasion where my nephew even threw the shoes of his classmate outside their school campus.  This along with other complains, set off the the school’s guidance counsellor to have a heart-to-heart talk with the kid and his parents. Upon initial findings and recommendation, my nephew was subjected to a medical evaluation where they found out that he’s suffering from ADHD.

Now the young boy is being treated for his condition.

Lastly, wished I have a quick indicator as I cannot answer your question whether ‘Juan’ will be the next big sociopath, but what I’m certain is that, that boy needs proper guidance and loving. And hopefully he’ll outgrow this stage and grow to be a responsible and outright individual.

Cheers!

ang tinggin ko po kay juan di siya napalaki ng maayos ng magulang nya..may kulang sa pagkatao nya..ginagawa nya ang ganyang bagay dahil dyan lang sya nappanisn ng mga magulang nya..siguro masyadong busy ang parents nya..yung pagmamahal na dapat ibigay kay juan pinapalitan nila ng materyal na bagay..at yung panahon na dapat ay ibigay nila kay juan tinatabunan nila ng pagkukunsinte..
kulang ang bata sa pagmamahal..yon ang hinahanap nya..pero walang nagbibigay sa kanya..kulang sa pansin kaya pinipilit nya na mapansin sya..

Agree, yan ang kadalasan nagiging dahilan kung bakit nawawalan ng close family ties then in the end, nalilihis ng landas ang mga bata.

 

Uhhhh school days
I was just like that juan
No notebooks no papers no pencil no home works
Ill beat the crap out of them if i dont get what i want
If their going to blah blah to anyone
Theyll get beaten up more
Yeah thats me i was a stupid problem child
What made me changed?
I dont know i just changed i guess

Go to their house with your boy go talk to them the parents
And settle it right there
Im pretty sure theyll be asking juan
Why his doing thay infront of you

If thay doesnt work
Hell ask someone to beat the crap out of that kid
Like a bigger kid than he is

If a bully get bullied hell stop bullying other kids

Thank you TimeTraveler, ate dappy, and HARDDRIVE. Yes, I'm just praying he will grow mature. In that way, I hope he stops hitting (whatever form that may be) other kids or people.

Some of my doctor-friends see him as a kid with ADHD. Unfortunately, I don't know if his dad observes that, knowing that his dad is a doctor himself. Some even said, maybe they are in denial about their son's behavior, that they simply can't accept that fact.

Ate Dappy, naniniwala rin ako na malamang napupuno siya ng materyal na bagay kapag hindi nabigay ang dapat na atensyon at pagmamahal sa kanya ng kanyang magulang. At sa tingin ko, gusto niya nga magpapansin. Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang, ang anak ko pansinin kasi mataba siya, kahit mga higher grade level even high school pinupuntahan daw siya sa classroom para lang makita, mismong guidance counselor pa ang nagsabi. Si Maria pansinin din kasi magaling si Maria sa loob at labas ng classroom, first honor siya sa buong klase at nagbibigay ng karangalan sa school. Hindi ko lang alam kung naiinis siya sa mga ganoong bagay.

What I'm just worried is that, this school teaches Christian values. I usually observe kids who are with this school change. Kahit patubo pa lang mga sungay ng mga bata, alam na nila paano putulin at hindi lumala. Pero kay Juan, hindi nila ata kinaya. Hindi ko alam kung un-touchable ba siya o special o ano.

As for my second child, I think he was somehow affected by my stress. He's super kulit, unlike his kuya na mabait. We even call him General Apurado Ora-Orada. Hope he will not be like Juan.

siguro kaya di nila madisiplina si juan pwedeng yung mga magulang nya ay isa sa mga sponsor ng school..
or mataas ang katungkulan o kilala ang pamilya..ang bata kasi dapat tinuturuan syang rumespeto sa authority at sa kapwa nya..kung sa bahay pa lang di na yan naituro mahihirapan ang school na itanim sa kanya ang kahalagahan ng
pakikipagkapawa tao..may pag-asa pa na mabago si juan..kailangan lang malamn ng magulang nya kung ano ang hinanakit ng bata o kung ano ang nasa puso nya..

That is a very sad story to hear...

Well Juan is a problem child, I think he needs professional advice and therapy, his problem is psychological. Having a child like Juan is very difficult for his parents. It's easy to say that his parents do not teach him proper manners or they lack control over him to correct his behavior. But difficult children do exist and even parents can not correct them. I knew someone who have the same daughter years ago, and they did every punishments needed, hurt her physically and scolded her like hell. But she still the same, only when this little girl grown up change a little of her behavior...but still show to be difficult. Prayers can help these kind of children.

I hope that Juan will change... his behavior may be rooted from home or environment...sometimes this kind of behavior is hereditary. Yes, I read before that behavior can be inherit.

@post22, thanks for your reply.

for now, i keep an eye on him, observing him, even though he's not a classmate of my son. one time when i fetched my son from school, Juan's mom, kept calling him. but it looked he didn't care. he kept running and running around. he seemed deaf to his mom calling him.

i don't know, but a lot of parents see him as a child with psychological problem that needs counseling.

our point is, if that's the case, regular school is not for him. the school didn't have facilities for this kind of children.

and from what i heard from the adviser of my son, Juan needs to be monitored everyday, that means one-on-one counseling. i should have told them that if that's what they need to do, why not ask Juan's parents to transfer him, instead of having a lot of kids in this school sacrifice for the sake of Juan?

Since Juan shows to be a problem child with some behavioral disorders, the school should inform his parents and recommend to undergo a psychological test.  To know what is wrong with Juan, what is the cause of his behavior and how can the parents and school help the child.  In our MBA class, we tackled about texceptional children.  These children are those with learning and/or behavior problems, children with physical disabilities or sensory impairments, and children who are intellectually gifted or have a special talent. These children need special attention and need a special kind of teaching approach...there are special school for them... like SPED.  Although those with physical dissabilities can join regular school , ex. those with sensory impairments can sit at the front of the class. 

Only a clinical psychologist can recommend what is best for Juan... I hope his parents will take a step to help him.

That's all you can do for now, watch and take care of your child.  :)

As I am reading your story, i could only assume that charming Juan may be a spoiled brat and the way his parents treat him and discipline him reflects into his action... I hope you could learn more about his family background to understand him better... like somebody must be spoiling him like a lola or the parent who gives him everything he asked... another one in contrast also discipline him like he is the worst person who ever lived... he might also be punished or abused that his way of relief is to bully other kids... any parents who saw his kid to be a bully or shame to the family may treat him badly... they should learn to be more consistent and firm in giving him discipline... giving him something should be a reward of something good he has done, not giving in to his demands is a punishment to a bad deed... i guess treatment comes to the root cause of the problem... I'd say counseling should go to the parents... to teach them how to become better parents... I'd say talk to her parents be friend to them and help them to become a better parent... may kasabihan... BOW!... kung ano ang puno ay sya rin ang bunga... Bow!

It would seem to me that the child lacks some kind of father figure. According to your story.....the only parent involved is his mother. Also that kind of behavior really reeks of the lack of father/male authority in the boys life. He's a bully. I've been bullied and I've bullied as well to some extent. Facts of life. The only issue I see here is that today's parents are just too involved with their children's lives nowadays. I'm no different but though now they're both in high school I tend to leave them alone. When I was bullied I fought back. I had many trips to the guidance & principal but I tend to stand my ground even though beaten or bruised. After that bullies tend to stay clear of me since they know I'll fight back even if I'm not in the advantage. But then again. During my times......children didn't kill. These days it seems that a 10yo can have a fit get lolo's gun and kill his 7yo playmate.

My son....when he was about 8-10 tended to be so, as we say here "makulit" to the point that it seemed to be bullying. It reached a point that I told him if you don't stop that behavior, I'll hire kids off the street to beat him up. That made him behave like a lost puppy instantly.

thanks post, alakdan and ardeelo.

i'm just observing him nowadays when i fetch my son from school.

i actually told my son to fight back and stand for himself even if i'm going to be invited to the principal's office, i told him that i don't care as long as he fights back. masyado kasi mabait ang anak ko. akala niya laro-laro lang ang lahat.

juan's relatives confirmed that he is really indeed a problem child. with that, i don't know what to think of. i've been trying to understand why he became like that. perhaps his mom had a problem when she was carrying him in her womb, or perhaps, he was raised that way, or maybe, he sees someone with that attitude and it's generally ok. there are a lot of possibilities.

right now, we're facing one problem. napakaligalig ng pangalawang anak namin. as what my husband would always say, "parang ipinaglihi sa sama ng loob," which is somehow true, because this happened when i was pregnant with my second child. sana wag lang siya maging katulad ni juan.

Raise the kids with positive attitude and self confidence.  One very important thing to teach a child... Respect, this is a should attitude in our family. 

maybe the kid does not know the word RESPECT...

I am just reading all your posts here. Like a child could either be a bully or get to be bullied, right?

And is it always wise to teach the children to just avoid these kind of people? Aren't they gonna grow as a coward individual?

Or should we sometimes teach the children to fight? like wait before things come to worse? Coz what I worried about is that a child who's been bullied (and not doing anything about it) will somehow have a lifetime effect on the child's personality.

<sigh> i'm worried.

masama nga daw akong parent...

ganto kasi yun, mga anak ko mas malaki kesa sa mga kaedad nya. one day sinapak ng isang kaklase nya sempre nagalit ako ask ko baka naman kasi anak ko nauna. sabi nya no hindi ako nakaupo lang po ako pinatama sa mukha ko yung bag nya. so sabi ko next time ano gawin sayo ninuman, gawin mo din sa kanya. inantay ko mangyari yun, ayun naulit sinipa sya sa pige, gumanti sya ngayon e umiwas, sa balls tinamaan then nakita pa ng eldest ko pinagtulungan na nila yung batang pakistano.

so na-office ako, nalaman nila na i encouraged my kid to fight back, dapat daw hindi ireport daw sa kanila. sabi ko bakit mababantayan nyo ba sila the whole day every minute na andyan sila sa school nyo? e yung mga nagpi-field trip lang ilan na ba namatay sa kapabayaanan nyo? ayaw nyo sa reason ko i will transfer my kids sa ibang schools, schools na kayang magbantay sa mga students nila. areglo kasi di nila kaya saka known na sila na me mga students ng namatay during school hours, again kasi sa negligence nila.

ang panget kasi tignan kung hindi gaganti ang mga anak ko sa laki nila, ano yun palakihin kong torpe???

gaya ng lagi kong sinasabi bad na kung bad ayoko lang na ina-agrabyado ako o family ko.

I think... it's okay to teach our children to fight back.  After all every individual is striving to survive. 

Way back in my elementary days, my mom always told me not to fight in school because it is bad.  You can imagine, I am also the youngest in the family and sometimes I feel weak.  At home, I was not a type of kid who really is weak, I fight for my right as a kid, and yes sometimes i fight back with my elder brother or sister.  But in school, I remember what my mom said, never fight!  I experienced being bullied but held my temper and never fight back.  That was a bad experience to never fight back.  It also add to my image that I was a weak child...it affects my self steem and self confidence as a child.  I just let other kid say and do what they want, although it was not terribly bad.  I held my mom's advice never to fight back in my elementary days.  I reached highschool and have the same classmates.  It was math class, I lucidly remember.
Our teacher is teaching on board and one male classmate was touching my bag.  I asked him to stop.  He never stopped. I gave him the warning.  He still did not stop and dared me!  That was a swift moment.  I found myself helding him in his uniform. I think, I had scratched him ...maybe on his chest.  All in all... I think I won on that moment.  I never remember getting hurt.  Our teacher got angry because we fought during her class. We were brought to the guidance office.  Inside me, I knew I did the right thing.  My agony of being bullied is over.  After that incident no one in our class tried to bullied me again.  Because of that my high school life changed.  I gained the respect of my other fellow students.

In my experience, I think it is not healthy to teach our children not to fight back.  They should know how to defend themselves...but never ever teach your child to start a fight.

I hope my story will be helpful to some parents.

may mga bata na sutil pero pag tanda nag mamature. my brother was like that until high school. but changed a lot when he entered college.